Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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