I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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