I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
