Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
