So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
