What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
