Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
