if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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