I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
