So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
