who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
