I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
