watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
