Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
