Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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