Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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