is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
