I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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