saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
