So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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