My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
