Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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