One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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