apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
