I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
