Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
