You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
