I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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