Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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