just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
