can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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