I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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