So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
