i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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