And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
