your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
