In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
