you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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