So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
