the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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