Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
