And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
