You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
