Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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