He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
