its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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