I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
