I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
