Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
