South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
