Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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