So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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