I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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